That is Wildean wit compared to most of Chris Morgan‘s unrepentantly dumb pulp dialogue. Don’t worry, kids, the Rock will be back for the climax, reentering the action with the words “Daddy’s gotta go to work.” Alas, Johnson is sidelined for much of this installment, laid up in a bodycast after saving a co-worker from an exploding building. Tired yet? You will be after two hours of F7, which is as overinflated, if not as well formed, as the physique of Dwayne Johnson, who gave this ensemble a much-needed charisma boost when he signed on in episode five. Bare bones: Deckard Shaw ( Jason Statham), brother of the crew’s defeated enemy Owen Shaw, has vowed to kill them all in revenge an all-seeing surveillance program called God’s Eye has been stolen by terrorists the creator of said program ( Nathalie Emmanuel‘s Ramsey) needs to be rescued and a mysterious lawman with his own private army ( Kurt Russell, who any oddsmaker would say is bound to be hiding something) promises to help Vin Diesel‘s Dom get Deckard if Dom’s crew will save Ramsey and recover the God’s Eye. We needn’t say much about the plot, either. Moritz, who introduced the super-last-minute screening at South by Southwest, begged the audience to keep mum about Brian’s fate, so we won’t provide an exhaustive list of the many certain-death situations he faces and survives.

Technical miracles aside, the nature of the story makes watching Furious 7 something of a morbid game: Over and over, the action puts Walker’s Brian O’Conner in such jeopardy that we think, “Ah, this will be the scene where they give him a heroic death.” But saying “over and over” acknowledges that Brian survives, at least, the bomb blast that nearly kills his family in one fell swoop, that he manages to get out of that big bus hanging precariously over a cliff, and that he, and for that matter all his pals, drive their cars out of a plane in midair and parachute to the ground without so much as denting a fender.

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